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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Political Zombies and Vampires - Dealing With The Undead In The Next Election

I was wrong before when I thought that the political center couldn't be falsely spiked any further to the right, but now I believe people when they say that there's still plenty of crazy to go around among Conservatives. 

They're already so close to the edge that Google Maps shows them to be in 'Heere Bee Dragons' territory, but they've got their parkas and tinfoil hats on, strapped into their kayaks, and they're ready for the plunge over the Rim of the World with all moral compasses pointing due South.

Maybe they'll see the giant tortoise on whose back rests the Flat Earth that so many in their party believe in on their way down...out...up...or where-the-hell-ever it is they're headed.

I'm not sure that even they know, anymore.


The Tea Party wants to steam full ahead with every divisive tactic they have in their arsenal. I think they might, one day, miss having people who, you know, cast votes. I want to say that nothing would please me more than the Tea Party's passing, but I've been wrong about "misunderestimating" political craziness before. I might actually find that, in the future, they're the sane party on the Right. Just not right now. 

I saw a daytime photo of Ted Cruz, Michelle Bachmann, and Rand Paul together, yesterday. First of all, I didn't think that those people actually showed up in photos or mirrors much less could withstand the sunlight. But I thought I caught a glimpse of Bachmann's wife...sorry, husband...flipping me off in one of those Harry Potter-type photos where the subjects actually move around. It scared me less than it should have; I guess I'm getting used to the Politically Undead.

It seems like Hillary will probably run in 2016. That's a good thing, I think. The Right will be lined up against her and may trip themselves up trying to prevent her from staging Occupy West Wing. It's going to be a bloodbath, whatever happens. If she has any skeletons left in her closet, they're bound to get their bones rattled. This is once where osteoporosis might be your friend, if you're her; the skeletons could crumble and take the wind out of the rightwing nutfudge fringe's sails. 

It's just as likely that they'll tear themselves to pieces in the primaries. I'm buying popcorn futures as I type this. I smell blood, and it's got Type V for Vampire written all over it.